My friend went to see Barry Cryer about three weeks ago, and she told me he told this joke but I completely forgot to post it.
Anyway, Cryer said: "After the Angus Deayton scandal, a couple of the comics on the circuit started to tell this joke, which I'll now tell you.
Basically, Angus has this number for the escort service, so he types the number into the hotel phone. A woman picks up, and he relays his hotel number for her.
Lady: Yes sir, can I help you?
Angus: Yes, I want two girls. I want to have sex with the first one, then have sex with the second one. Then I want the first and the second one to have sex while I watch, then I want both of the girls and me to have a threesome.
Lady: ... sir, you have to dial 9 for an outside line.
They deny the holocaust ffs. If they get even one seat, it's horrific.
Anyway, that's it. Ciao!
Basically, it's very hard to talk about. I would much rather wind you a long tale of mystery and woe, accumulating in the eventual discovery of everything and then we can all go and watch some HIGNFY, but it's actually boring and a bit protracted.
Sufficed to say, I fucked up and deleted my account out of spite.
And I've come internet-crawling back. Hoping you guys may still remember me and won't get all mad.
However, this stuff is STILL severely problematic, to the point where I cannot come on full time for at least another month. Maybe longer. I just reactivated my account because LJ sent me a lovely note saying 'RESTART THIS DAMN ACCOUNT OR LOSE ALL FIC FOREVER' and I, well. Caved.
I'm sorry, guys. So sorry. But how do I usually apologise...?
( A web of decitCollapse )
( HOUSE MD SPOILERS CONTAINED INSIDECollapse )
On an un-spoilery un-American note, Argumental.
Marcus' dropping of the trousers.
The man has sexy legs.
I'm now crushing on 2/5th of The Now Show. That can't be good.
(Text reproduced below to allow lazy people to read)
"Cult panel show Shooting Stars has been recommissioned for BBC Two, 15 years after it first burst onto our screens.
Hosted by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, the show that introduced viewers to the Dove From Above, UVAVU and George Dawes, will be back for a full series following a one-off special last Christmas.
Once again, Matt Lucas, the man with the scores, will be returning as big baby George Dawes.
Original team captain Ulrika-ka-ka-ka-ka Jonsson will be back as head of her team.
And, after his debut on the Christmas special, Jack Dee becomes a permanent member of the Shooting Stars team and captain of the opposite team.
Bob Mortimer said: "We're really looking forward to it. Jack is going to be a great headmaster and Ulrika is as game as ever so it should be a very pleasant evening's journey.
"We have a new attitude and new rounds and this series will feature a secret weapon which will assist us in re-inventing the panel show again, just as Shooting Stars originally did."
This new series has been commissioned by Janice Hadlow, Controller of BBC Two. The Executive Producer for BBC is Katie Taylor.
Katie added: "We're delighted that Shooting Stars and all its original lunacy is returning to brighten the screens of BBC Two. Vic and Bob are true comedy innovators and it's great to have them, Ulrika and Matt back together along with Jack Dee."
Shooting Stars was one of TV's first celebrity panel shows and was piloted on BBC Two in December 1993. It went on to run for five series, ending in December 2002, and became a multi-award-winning, worldwide hit.
Shooting Stars (6 x 30-minutes) is a Pett Productions production for BBC Two. The series is written by Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer. Producer is Lisa Clark for Pett Productions and Executive Producer is Katie Taylor for the BBC."
Why this is awesome in NavBar's opinion.
1) JACK DEE on BBC, kick ass, and more of that lovely, grumpy man can never be a bad thing.
2) VIC AND BOB are back, which means much funny.
3) MATT LUCAS in the UK, meaning no more of the crap shoot which was Little Britain US (although, I wasn't a massive fan of the UK version, so that is only my opinion).
4) And, finally, a good place for awesome comedians to collate and be awesome. (You can't get enough decent panel shows). 'Specially since Buzzcocks was de-Bailey-fied.
On a similar note, 'The Trouble With Boris' sounds like a limerick. Which I shall now write.
The trouble with Boris it seems,
is how the satirists made all his dreams.
The polls might have been duped,
but satirists will whoop,
when Boris is elected new Queen.
Footage of him on a mobile while cycling. Boris has mad skillz.
Christ, some of us were drinking working in a bar library without internet access, and didn't find out until way too late. Didn't think of that, ha, did 'cha?
*Cries in corner* *Is in circular room* *Cries because of implausibility*
Anyone get lucky?
Any sillier than 'The Representative for Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Prime Minister Balls?'
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THIS MAN HIS NAM
- *red dwarf
- *rhys jones
- *top gear
- -filling the gaps in rule 34
- -on the flip of a coin
- -shameless displays of real affection
- -the tokyo moon trilogy
- -things i should never have written
- -what was i on?